The Importance of a Positve Male and Female in the Home

Does everyone think that there should be a mommy and a daddy in the home? No. Is it ok that everyone does not believe it makes a difference if a child has a mommy and a daddy in the home? Yes, reason being, we are all entitled to our opinions. Most parents do what they think is best for their children. None of us are perfect, and none of us have all the answers, most of us are doing the best we can to raise respectful, considerate, compassionate and intelligent little people. Nobody ?wants? their child to be a ?screw up,? and no one wants to be responsible for screwing their child up. After all there is no handbook on how to raise the ?perfect child? or ?how to be the perfect parent.? There is a lot of credible information out there on how to raise kids and how to be a better parent, but you really have to take it with a grain of salt. When it comes to child rearing you have to gage your child and see what works best for you (the parent/s) and the child.

In the past it was ?ideal? for a child to be in a loving home with a positive mom and dad. I can touch on this topic on many different levels, but I am going to try and stick to one. That would be, it is very valuable to the child to have both a male and female influence in the home. This is not always ideal or feasible in today?s society, because of MANY different circumstances (abuse, illness, military, ?dead beats,? parents separated, death) just to name a few, all of these circumstances can affect each individual child in different ways. The most important question to ask, ?Am I doing what is in the best interest of my child?? Once you become a parent, it is not about you any more. Your life now revolves around the child. Considering all of the many different circumstances out there as to why many children do not have both their parents in their lives, let me be clear when I say that it is still possible to be a positive role model in your child?s home, even if you do not physically live with them. The examples we set as parents follow our children outside of the home. So again, both parents do not have to physically be in the home to set a positive influence in the child?s life.

Is it possible to be a single parent and raise wonderful kids? Of course it is! Do I believe it would be easier to raise children with a partner? Yes, whole heartedly. I commend single parents to the fullest capacity (my mom being one of them) for all of the sacrifices they make, and being able to ?hold it down? alone. I don?t know how they do it. I don?t know how my mom did it for that matter. I do know one thing, my mom would not have had to work so hard and miss out on so much time with my sister and I, if my father was in our lives consistently. Sometimes parents think that they show their love by purchasing their kids the latest gadgets, the fashionable clothes, or the latest CD etc, but really all kids need and want is your love, affection, attention, and stability. Of course they need to be fed, clothed, and housed, but I am speaking on the tangible things, I am referring to what helps develop them, what helps mold them, and what helps develop their perception of you, their parent, which in turn develops their perception of how they should be as a parent. I know for me growing up all I wanted was both my parents and their love. I did not care about the material things. The time I did spend with my father was far and few between, but I did feel loved when I was with him. Definitely did not feel the love when I did not see or hear from him for years on end. I can remember some of the times I saw him when he came to visit us, he would buy me and my sister stuff, and that is all it was ?stuff.? What was most important to me was spending time with him. I would have been happy if my father was more consistent. He did not have to necessarily be physically in the home with us. Being in my life consistently would have been appreciated. Although I believe my mom did a great job raising my sister and I, I strongly believe I would be a different person today, if I had a male influence in my childhood, preferably my father.

There are certain qualities that men bring to the table, and there are certain qualities that women bring to the table, and I don?t believe either can take the place of the other. Mother?s (women) and Father?s (men) compliment each other by picking up where the other lacks, creating a balance. For example, I will be the one to teach my daughter how to be a lady, sit down with her and explain the changes her body will go through and how to respect her body, have the first ?talk? (birds and bees). Sure, her daddy could teach her those things, but she will most likely be more comfortable discussing them with mommy. She will also learn about being a lady, by the way I carry myself, actions speak louder then words. As we all know our children see and hear everything, they are learning from our physical examples too, not just our verbal teachings. Daddy will be the one to teach her about boys from a male perspective, and he will also teach her how a lady should be treated. She is already learning how a lady should be treated by how daddy treats mommy. Our son, he will learn how to be a man from daddy, by watching daddy and talking to daddy. He too will learn how to treat a lady from daddy, and he will hear how a lady should be treated from mommy. The physical example will come from him watching how daddy treats mommy. He will learn how a lady should treat him, by watching mommy interact with daddy. These are just some basic examples, there are many other examples. The most valuable lessons our children learn are from the examples they see and hear at home.

It would be ideal for a child to grow up in a home with a positive, loving, mommy and daddy, but it is possible for a child to still get those positive influences from both mommy and daddy, even if the parents do not live in the same home. Both parents have to make the effort to instill the positive influences in the child. Whether the child comes from a two parent home, or a single home, I believe the most important aspect that mommy and daddy can bring to the table is love. We all know that children can feel the love from family (grandparents, aunts and uncles etc.) and friends too, this article is just about mommies, daddies and their children, and how parents influence their children. To all the parents out there that give it their all, who are active in their child?s lives, who are supportive and loving, I commend you. Keep doing what you are doing, and hang in there, we all know that being a parent is a hard job.