Same Sex Marriage/Relationships and Kids

Does it make a difference if there is a mommy and a daddy in the home? My seven year old daughter seems to think so. Today, Tuesday, December 16, 2008, her father, her little brother and I went to pick her up from school and we began to have our usual ?how was school today? conversation. She was really excited to tell us about her day. She was excited about the dreidel she received today from one of her classmates. She proceeded to tell us how it works, and how you play. I then asked her who she received the Dreidel from, I always ask her who she is referring to so she knows I am interested in who and what she is talking about, plus I have been to her class a few times so I like to picture the person she is talking about. I guess you can say I am a visual person. She gave me the name and I said the one with?before I could even finish my sentence she said ?two dads.? My heart dropped, and I said ?what? she said ?he has two dads.? For a moment I really did not know what to say, I knew what boy she was talking about and I also knew that her classmate had two dads, but I had no clue that she knew that. I?m thinking to myself ?seriously, I am really going to have to a conversation about this sensitive issue?right now?she?s seven.? So after I picked up my heart, I proceeded to ask her how she knew he had two dads, she said ?they come in to class together all the time; it is never one of them it is always both of them, even last year.? I went on to say I did not know (classmates name here) was in your class last year, she says ?yes, he is the one that brought the Dreidels last year and his dads came in then too.? So then I ask her how she feels about him having two dads, ?I think it is fun for him, because he is a boy.? So I ask her how would she feel to have two dads, ?I would not want that, I am a girl I need a mommy.? So I ask her how she would like having two mommies, ?I like having a mommy and a daddy, I would not want two of the same.? So then I ask her if she treats her classmate any different, ?No, but I don?t like to sit by him.? Both her father and I tell her that is treating him different. She then explains herself, ?I don?t like to sit by him because he is loud and he spits when he talks and when he is eating.? I then tell her that is how most boys are, that is what boys do. Then daddy tells her your brother spits and is loud, he is spitting right now, her little brother did start spitting, but that was only because he heard the word. Any how, I ask her again, you do not treat him different right, and she says no. My daughter is very observant, like most kids, so I am just wondering how same sex marriage/relationships affect the children who are in them. My daughter seemed a little uncomfortable talking about it. She talks to us about pretty much everything, but when I asked her to express her thoughts on having two dads or two mommies, she seemed uncomfortable, I don?t think it was because of the topic, I don?t think she wanted to say anything that may hurt someone?s feelings even if that someone was not even in the car with us at the time. She is very observant and compassionate, and I feel bad that she even has to worry about yet another adult issue.

I personally do not care about who someone chooses to love or marry; it?s really not my business. However, I do have a problem when I feel adult matters are forced upon, young impressionable minds, the children of today. What I mean by this is, my daughter, or my son for that matter, should not have to worry about adult matters. They should not be exposed to things that do not make much sense at such a young age. Children today are being robbed of their youth. They are not allowed to be kids. I have to monitor what my kids watch on TV (luckily my son really only likes Elmo, so I am lucky to watch that over and over?that is another topic?lol) I have to monitor what they listen to on the radio. I have to monitor the computer to make sure they do not see anything inappropriate there. It just never ends. I know we are in an age where ?sex sales,? but can the children be left out of that? Even some of the children?s clothing stores, primarily for girls, are a little inappropriate in my opinion. What do any of those things have to do with my topic you ask? Just like I don?t want to have to talk to my daughter about any of the above topics (but I am forced to, so someone else does not talk to her that may not share the same beliefs) I don?t want to have to talk to her about same sex relationships, SHE IS TOO YOUNG. I am already dreading having ?The Talk,? does this mean that when I have ?the talk? with her, I am suppose to discuss who is ?suppose? to be in relationships? Should I feel bad because I want to teach my children about traditional marriages and relationships? Her father and I do not teach her to be judgmental, nor do we teach her to discriminate, but am I suppose to tell her that it is ok to be in a relationship with a girl/woman when she is growing up in a home with a mommy and a daddy? To me this just seems confusing to children. Children learn by example, this is why my daughter felt the way that she did when we had our discussion about having two mommies or two daddies. She is growing up in a home with a mommy and a daddy, and if her father or I were to tell her that people can not help who they fall in love with, even if that means if that someone is of the same sex as you, would be a contradiction to the physical example that she is learning at home by seeing mommy and daddy interact everyday. I just think it is unfair for those of us who want to raise our children in the ?traditional? way, with a mommy and a daddy, to feel bad because we may be discriminating against two people who love each other that may be of the same sex. Considering my children?s father and I came from homes with parents of the opposite sex, the only experience we can teach from is the one of a traditional sense.

I mentioned before that my daughter is observant, and compassionate, but she is also loving, kind, and caring. Having these qualities makes it easy for her to make friends, keep friends, and mediate between friends. However, I am concerned for her because of these qualities, because she will try to take on issues that she has no business concerning herself with while she is a child. She already takes on issues that are too big for her plate. I am also concerned for the other kids who are like her. It?s not fair that the children of today are forced to grow up so fast and take on so much. I feel for the kids that come from same sex relationships because of how cruel kids are. Although, I know there are plenty of children who are like my daughter and will be friends with someone no matter what their background is, and who there parents are, there are still plenty of kids out there who are cruel. Please do not misunderstand me when I say I have concerns about the kids who come from homes where there are two parents of the same sex, I know that they can love a child just like a heterosexual couple, and give them a good home, my question is, where is the balance? I will get into that subject more in my next blog topic ?The importance of a male and female influence in the home.?

Even though people should be able to marry who ever they want to marry and be in a relationship with who ever they choose, and for those who don?t agree with same sex marriages/relationships for what ever their reasons, whether it be religious, or spiritual, they should not worry themselves about it, they should leave it to what ever higher being they worship handle it. On the same token, those that do not agree with same sex marriage have just as much right to not agree with it, and feel they way they feel about it, just as much as the people who want to marry someone of the same sex or be in a relationship with someone of the same sex.

This particular topic is my opinions and feelings only, I am not speaking for any group of people, and I am not judging anyone, nor am I trying to offend anyone. I am sure if this will ever be possible again, but I would like for the youth to go back to being innocent. I can not stand that their youth and innocence is being robbed from them at earlier and earlier ages.